WHEN OUR KIDS FLY by Rubem Alves

"There are many ways to fly.
Even the flight of children occurs in stages. The first steps, the first day of school, the first sleepover, the first trip... Since the birth of our children we have the opportunity to learn about this strange movement of coming and going, hold and release, welcome and free.

We don't always realize that these simple moments are little teaching on the exercise of freedom. But there comes a time when reality knocks on the door and opens wide new truths that are difficult to face. It is the cry of independence, the force of life in motion, the power of time that changes everything.

Often, we confuse love with dependency. Mistakenly we feel that if our kids fly free, they won't love us then. We create unnecessary situations to show them how much we are indispensable.

Often we confuse love with safety. For excess zeal and with the intent to protect them, in fact we cut the wings of our children. Preventing that they seek their own answers and live their own dreams instead of ours. We are so sure we know more than they do, that the safe haven becomes an anchor that keeps them from surfing the waves of their own destiny. That's when we realize that our children have grown up and although we insist on occupying the prominent place in their lives, they feel the urge to conquer the world away from us.

It's time to collect our wings, to learn to embrace even when being away, celebrating the victories of which we do not participate directly and to support decisions that go so far. That's Love.
Often we confuse love with attachment. We strive to freeze time that transforms everything. We were stuck in fear of losing thus avoiding the natural flow of life. We breathe less because the winds of change do not fit in our body.

I learn that love has nothing to do with attachment, safety or dependence, although I often confuse myself with it. I learn that life is made of constant daily deaths smeared with sweet and sour taste. Each end blowing a start. Each period making room for a new sentence.

I learn that there is a child in me (and seeing my kids grown up) that is scared of not knowing what to do. But it is far better to be free than indispensable. I learn that it takes courage to fly and let fly. And there is no road more beautiful than this."